Thursday, July 03, 2008

Another "C" word..and the "F" word

Very recently I discovered Craigslist and am finding that I have become addicted to scavenging on that thing all the time. Damn you, Apartment Therapy! It all began with some old leather chairs which I found irresistible and scored about a week and a half ago. I will post pictures at a later date when I have decided how I will DIY the seat cushions. They have small tears which did not deter me because the chairs were so nice and worn that I knew I could do something on my own to fix the imperfections of the tears.
So, yesterday I was bored and trolling again when I spotted one of the most hilarious ads I have ever seen on the list. I am pasting below:

This chair is so amazingly hot, I can't believe no one has come to get it yet. It would totally make your vintage inspired apartment look even hotter. meet someone in a go home for a "night cap"...and they are all "Oh, my G-d! this chair is so amazingly retro. You must be worth more than a cheap hook up based solely on your aesthetic." And then you get married and have like 4 kids. All because of this chair! Just think about it. You don't have to make babies if you don't want to though. Or you might be an old person who wants this, and you can't make babies anymore. Though that one woman on Oprah like 3 years ago was like 60. Crazy. Email for pick up TODAY. You know you want it. Oh, and its on the second floor so you aren't all "OOOH, I have to carry this thing down stairs?". Yeah. you do.

Maybe I am just a sucker. I don;t know. I went and picked it up. I figured it was worth a viewing just for the ad alone. I am not sure it is sexy. I am not even sure it will fit into my decor scheme. I think I just have to live with it awhile and then decide how I want to proceed.

I came across three more ads to day that are written by the same person. Again, I find them absolutely hilarious, but I will not be running out to pick up the file cabinet, serving trays or printer.

Old school metal filing cabinet. On the second floor of my building. You need to have a vehicle large enough for it, and a FRIEND. If you come by yourself, you will not be able to carry it. It doesn't come apart (it isn't from IKEA), and you will need a set of hands to assist you. And guess what? No one here will help you. We love you, but not that much. It's actually quite nice. The filing cabinet and I went out to lunch last week, and I found out she is from Poughkeepsie, NY - she enjoys long walks on the beach, and she's allergic to nuts. She recently quit smoking, as she was starting to get a bit of a metalic taste in her drawers. She'll be the perfect addition to your illegal gambling facility, mob boss office, sham accounting agency, or any other business front. Of course, she will also work in a legit office.


PAR-TAY TIME!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! Now you can serve cheese in style. Or other little nibbly things. I'm assuming you have friends. If you eat too much cheese by yourself, well, you know what will happen. And no one likes that uncomfortable feeling in their colon. There are quite a few here, I didn't count how many. Most are round. Some are made of aluminum. Some are plastic. None of them are super fancy. So, e-mail for arrangements. I'm here til 1 pm today, then we'll have to think about Monday of next week, between 9-5. And you have to climb a flight of stairs to get these. This isn't a drive thru.

This thing weighs about 75lbs, I'm not kidding. I dusted it off, because I'm nice like that. There are no other "accessories" with this piece. Though I'm sure it would make a great end table. You could also use it to hold a bird bath. It apparently worked years ago. It was in my office, behind my desk. No one has touched it for years. When I got it out, people said "what is that?" I lied and said that it was a pencil sharpener from the 80's. I don't know if they believed me though, as no one stuck a pencil in it. Though, once, when we were little my brother put a golf pencil in his ear. We had to go to the emergency room. It was hilarious. Ayway, email for arrangements. Because my job is super deluxe, I'm off after one for the long weekend. So maybe Monday you can come and get it. Between 9-5, M-F. Serioulsy....not 515, or 740 pm.

While I am at it, I might as well post another addiction. Well, not so much as Craigslist because I receive e-mails of postings as they happen. I am talking about Freecycle. I do not participate in this one as regularly. About a year ago I got a 17" monitor, but other than that, I have not really exchanged much. Well, the other day someone posted a bunch of cut quilting pieces and assembled blocks. I contacted her and picked them up yesterday. What fun! I can already think of so many things I can use these for.

I have to admit that often I am lazy and do not want to assemble so many blocks especially when the pieces are as small as these so this will give me a little motivation.

Have a happy Fourth of July!

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